Wednesday, 21 March 2012

A heavy heart

My heart feels a little bit heavier today. Friday was Pip's EDD (estimated due date). So many thoughts and feelings about what might have been. The excitement, the fear of never having laboured before and not knowing what to expect, the anticipation, the overwhelming love. Last minute shopping trips to make sure everything is ready for baby to come home. Nursery all done and waiting for a new person to call it home. Hospital bag ready and waiting by the door. Coming home outfit picked. Stroller and car seat assembled, installed and ready. Waiting to feel those first hints that you are ready to meet us... 

Instead it will be a very quiet Friday. 

Once again hubby and I are across the oceans from one another because of circumstances out of our control. We promised to do something together when we can be together again as a family a little bit later. 

I can't let the day pass as if it means nothing. So I'm doing something in Pip's memory. Blogging and being able to write here has been such a wonderful release and I have always loved books. So it feels like the right thing to do to donate some journals to Yasminah's Gift of Hope. 

This beautiful organisation that was born out of tragedy helps to support, as well raise awareness and understanding for other families who have experienced miscarriage, premature birth, neonatal loss, stillbirth, infant loss, or a diagnosis of a congenital abnormality during pregnancy or after birth. A gift of hope is a beautiful package that families receive including a beautiful hand decorated journal. 

Pip measured 6.5 weeks old at what should have been her 9 week scan. So 6 and a half journals it is. 6 large ones and one smaller sized one to make the half size. 

Yes I should be packing and doing a million other things because we're about to move overseas soon. But in 10 years when I look back on this day, I won't remember it because I was packing. I will remember it for what it meant to us. This is important and will have a longer lasting effect than packing a few boxes ever will. 

So today, I'm on a mission. Step one: find journals. Step two: decorate journals. Step three: prepare journals for donation. I feel better already knowing that I can, through Yasminah's Gift of Hope, reach out to other families in their despair. Thank you for doing the wonderful work you do, YGOH. 


  1. I have been thinking of you a lot this week honey. And on Friday, I will actually be at the scrapbooking/journal day for YGOH, and I would like to make one in Pip's honour too - as well as Seb of course. So I'll be thinking of you. Do you want me to give you a call that day?? I might just do that anyway, can you PM me your number on FB please? I hope the day is as gentle as can be, and you are doing a wonderful thing for your sweet girl, I just wish it could have been holding her. Sending you all my love and holding you in my prayers this week, esp on Friday. Love you xx

  2. Thank you so much beautiful. I really appreciate it. I've shopped for the journals today and decided to spend tomorrow working on decorating them. Hopefully I will get to deliver them on Saturday. How special that we're working on something so significant to both of us this weekend. I would be honoured to have you make one for Pip, thank you so much. Not sure if I'll be up to talking, but would love a text message. I'll PM my number through xxx

  3. Much <3 San, Always here if you need to talk and Lilly is always here if you need some baby cuddles :)

  4. Thank you Simone and Lilly <3


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